Growing up in the early 80s in Bombay (now Mumbai) is something that I will cherish forever.
Being one of the youngest I was blessed to learn from the experience of my family's lives.
My Father's viewing of the world somewhere made sense to me after lots of misunderstandings. This isn't about just one father's approach in raising his child.
This Father's Day tribute is in all fairness, towards the classic 'ol notions of balanced camaraderie of a martial boat, which is often weighed by trust, understanding and sacrifices; so to speak.
If Fathers are the backbone of the family, Mothers are the soul of the family. (Not carved in stones, this is just one of the ways of looking at it. This article isn't based on some Google Scholars research somewhere in the Netherlands or the revelations made out of Psychologists' administered tests of human behavior. This article is based upon a few real life experiences.)
Friends who get along with their dad have different kinds of issues. E.g. He forces me to go to Church every Sunday and I work 12 hours for six days. How can anyone not understand that I need rest on Sundays at least. 23 year old Mark from Vasai (one of my cycling buddies). But when it comes to buying unnecessary expensive gadgets, cycling equipment and pocket money to order anything online, Mark the 23 - is the luckiest 23 year old I know. I asked Mark, why don't you appreciate how much your father does for you? Mark simply shrugged and said, 'I love my Dad for that. I even have a coffee mug that says, I ❤ Dad. Just so that he knows how grateful I am.', concluded Mark with a wink.
Few books that I have enjoyed because of the relationship between a father and his children are as follows:
One of the world's best bands, U2's frontman who is popularly known as Bono, has lived with his bittersweet relationship with his dad. And if you read his biography or any literature related to Bono's relationship with his dad, you'll know how we all are shaped differently by our surroundings and people who influenced our choices at that point of our childhood.
Trivia: 'Sometimes you can't make it on your own by U2' has this line called 'you're the reason why there's Opera in me'. Bono has dedicated this particular line in this iconic song to his late father that often tears me apart because it resonates with my relationship with my late dad too.
Another mind numbing book whose author had invited me over to his house in Matunga as he had supported our crowd sourced library project by donating his decades of book collection which included Em & The Big Hoom's collection too I guess. If you have already guessed the name of the author, you are one of my favorites. If not, nevertheless: it is none other than Bombay's very own Jerry Pinto. Em and the Big Hoom is an autobiography that is very close to my heart for many reasons.
Fun fact: When I had read the book for the first time, I had never in my rarest of dreams imagined that I would be able to be in this author's house, where perhaps this very book was written.
Where it all had occurred between Em, The Big Hoom, Jerry's Sister and to himself. This particular book has made me cry literally so much more than any other. Never have I ever shared anyone's pain as much as Jerry's family that he has described in Em and the Big Hoom.
I wouldn't recommend this book to many, whom I know because it is utterly powerful, often shifting between comical to ironical and extremely overwhelming family saga of one of my favorite families of Bombay. I am going to order or maybe borrow this book soon and reread it.
When I walked into the lanes of Byculla, Mahim and Bandra; lots of things that I had read from this book played as a background score; as if my life's suddenly being portrayed as a song while I am wailing in pain and smiling at the same time.
One of my all time favorite fictional Daddies got to be the magnificent Atticus Finch from the Pulitzer prize winning 'To Kill a Mockingbird' by Harper Lee. If you still haven't read this book, pick a copy today.
PLEASE! - Don't watch the movie adaptation of To Kill a Mockingbird book directly because the true innocence of Jem and Scott will have a different ring to it when you will read an actual book.
Now I have plenty more Father's Day book recommendations but I am keeping it short here. The last book I want to suggest is Philip Roth's Autobiography Patrimony. Amongst his 30 plus books, this has surprised his fans as it reflects the true story of a man who has given the world many insightful books. Philip Roth's relationship with his father Herman Roth grew during his father's paralysis. And that's precisely where the journey of a son's and father's truly begins. How Philip Roth handles all and measures he takes to ensure what he can do Including all the embarrassing moments that he describes and assures its secrecy just between a father and a son.
Do not ever forget what your father has done for you.
He did a few things and some he didn't. If you grew up without a father since childhood, I would love to hear about your journey.
If your father wasn't kind to you, I want to hear about it all if you are okay to open up about it. Because just like all mothers aren't the angels as the world makes them seem like; neither are all dads awful as many might have been conditioned and brainwashed to believe.
I miss you Dad - Happy Father's Day
By Pushpendra Pandya